


Hollow

by hes_per_ides



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26696056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hes_per_ides/pseuds/hes_per_ides
Summary: "It's not her, the image in the advert.He knows that. He can see it now. The image must have been constructed from biometric data the Alliance had on file, but they’ve messed with it. She never had that flirtatious twinkle in her eye—not for anyone else anyway—and they’ve clearly done a little paddinghereandthere, because the woman he'd known had never had a curve not made of muscle."Kaidan encounters a holo ad from the Alliance's recruitment campaign featuring the late Commander Shepard. But it's really not her, and he's going to have to learn to deal with this.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	Hollow

It's not her, the image in the advert.

He's sat in the window of a café with a vat of coffee steaming before him while the holo plays a few meters away on the other side. Every time someone comes close she springs to life, entreating the passer-by to join the Alliance Navy and defend humanity’s interests in the galaxy. The sensors could clearly pick up a military ID; when he’d passed by she’d snapped off a too-crisp salute and thanked him for his service. He’d almost broken down right there. He’d ducked into the café to catch his breath and recollect himself.

So here he is, watching the image through the rising vapour and glass and wishing he could look away.

It’s not her.

He knows that. He can see it now. The image must have been constructed from biometric data the Alliance had on file, but they’ve messed with it. She never had that flirtatious twinkle in her eye—not for anyone else anyway—and they’ve clearly done a little padding _here_ and _there_ , because the woman he'd known had never had a curve not made of muscle. The way she moves is wrong too, there’s none of that well-trained precision hiding the coiled energy just below the surface. And of course the real woman... she’s dead. Gone. Floating somewhere out there in the cold or, since the Alliance salvage teams never found anything, perhaps burnt up in planetary atmosphere.

It all adds up to an image that is both achingly familiar and yet disconcertingly alien.

It’s not her.

He drinks the coffee. It’s good, warms the parts of him that had turned cold at rounding a corner and seeing _her face_. Three months of counselling sessions almost undone in a heartbeat. He watches others pass by the advert, giving it varying levels of attention. So many of them don’t even look up, engrossed in their omnitools or just so inured to the ubiquitous holos lining the streets that they simply do not see them any more. As the warmth fills him up, he resigns himself to the fact that he’s just going to have to deal with this. He cannot spend the rest of his life shying away from every holo-ad in case it bears her almost-likeness. Perhaps with time he can cultivate that same indifference.

After all, it is not her.

He drains his cup, sets it down, and sends a tip via his omnitool. He puts his jacket back on, maybe a little more slowly than necessary, putting off the moment when he has to go back out and face her. _Not_ her.

In the shop doorway he stuffs his hands deep in his pockets, takes a deep breath of the crisp cold air and begins to walk.

The holo snaps out of its idle cycle as he approaches. The figure rips off an enthusiastic salute and stands to attention. “I’m Commander Shepard, and I thank you for your service soldier. You’re doing us all proud!” He regards it for a moment. It’s not even her voice; it’s a VA doing an impression that’s only _almost_ right, or maybe it’s synthesized from recordings.

Either way, it’s not her. 

The recording starts its loop again- “I’m Commander Shepard and-”

He walks away.

It’s really not her.

But _god,_ he wishes it was.


End file.
